Pregnancy Update

The last weeks of 2012 was full of mixed emotions. It was that time of the year when people are celebrating, having reunions with family, get togethers left and right. In my case, I decided to hibernate. Yes, I spent my vacation with families in Manila and Davao and did not do my usual meet-up with friends. I just didn't feel comfortable given my situation. 

My preganancy didn't progress. As soon as I arrived in Manila last Dec 22, I had an ultrasound. The result wasn't promising. My OB gave it the benefit of the doubt for a week. So from that time on, I already knew that it would end in misacarriage. So come Dec 29 when we headed to the hospital, I was ready to be admitted. True enough, the u/s didn't show any. I had an anembryonic pregnancy. My husband and I were talking about it ever since Dec 22 so we were physically, mentally and emotionally prepared this time. however the moment I entered the delivery room and changed my clothes, tears still rolled down my cheeks. A part of me is saying that finally my sufferings  will end (I was in bed rest for 2 months, I travelled in wheelchair...in short, physically I felt so useless, so helpless the past 2 months). At the same time it hurts to know that after all these sacrifices it would end up like this.  But in general, we are Ok. It helped a lot that I was surrounded by family -- the kind of emotional and moral support that I needed. If this happened in Cambodia, I don't know how I would be feeling.

The positive thing that came out of this is I am on maternity leave. Perfect timing to spend the remaining days of my vacation shopping, going to the derma, having my hair colored and most importantly playing with my nieces and nephew.  

I'm  back in Cambodia since last week and is busy fixing the house (literally and figuratively).